Scorecard

Cookham Dean Cricket Club Friendly 1st XI v Four Candles on Sun 01 Aug 2021 at 1pm
Cookham Dean Cricket Club Lost by 4 wickets

Match report Cookham Dean Friendly XI slipped to a humiliating defeat to Tom Rosenthal’s ‘Four Candles’ XI, (a team made up entirely of comedians) at Rickett’s Field on Sunday.

Cookham went into the game in a state of near total crisis, with 4 defeats in 5 matches and some of the playing squad in open rebellion against captain Isaac Richardson’s controversial selection policy, Richardson knew only a convincing win in a match considered a ‘home banker’ would keep the wolves from his door. Tom Rosenthal sportingly agreed to let Cookham bat first, after Richardson forgot to take a coin out with him to the toss.

Cookham started strongly as James Le Fleming and Yeshua Bhatti got Cookham off to a fast start, reaching 50 within 9 overs. However, the game turned on a disputed decision from umpire and Club President Jim Rosenthal, who gave James Le Fleming out LBW for 31, despite there being more than a suspicion of an inside edge. A murmured comment by Jim about ‘wanting to even the game up a bit’ has been quoted in other less credible publications. After a long hiatus from the team Roger Evans returned to the fold at number 3, and was dismissed first ball, to leave Harrison Charles with the chance of a hattrick. Thankfully this was survived by James ‘The Big Show’ Milligan.

The scoring rate began to slow and when Yeshua Bhatti was dismissed by Deacon for 36, Cookham were beginning to struggle on 80 for 3 in the 16th over. Indeed, around this stage James Milligan was heckled by his own teammate James Taylor’s loud yawn from the boundary rope due to his slow scoring rate, which seemed to kick start the batsman into action. Rob Mettler added some much-needed middle order impetus and survived a couple of catchable chances to produce a run-a-ball 42. However, both Mettler and Milligan falling in quick succession triggered a lower order collapse as Cookham went from around 130 for 3 to 145 for 9. This was not helped by easily influenced u13 Harrison Atkinson being talked into attempting a ramp shot first ball by his teammates and being caught behind!

By this point there were beginning to be some suspicions that some of these so-called comedians were a little too good at cricket and may have been picked more for their cricketing ability than their comedic exploits. Indeed, more than one batsman was heard to utter something along the lines of ‘I came here to watch Phil Wang learn how to bowl and instead I have to face this!’ With the help of a couple of four byes late on, Cookham managed to scramble up to 162 for 9 from their 35 overs, a respectable, but by no means intimidating score.

Clearly flustered by the comedians not being as bad as previous years, what followed was one of the worst fielding displays by a Cookham side in living memory. Countless dropped chances went down, along with plenty of misfields and overthrows. Things had initially started promisingly for Cookham as opening bowlers Le Fleming and Taylor had kept the scoring rate around 3 an over, and despite early dropped chances by Richardson and Finlan, had managed to remove both openers, including the dangerous Harrison Charles, within the first 15 overs. However, as the fielding errors piled up, Cookham seemed to lose their focus and let Four Candles back into the game. As James Milligan dived over a ball at mid-wicket Sue Finlan was heard to heckle ‘The Big Show? More like the No Show!’ much to the amusement of everyone. Jimmy McGhie and Luke Kempner were able to build a partnership, steadily at first as Mark Pateman and Harrison Atkinson kept things in check, but they then started to move through the gears and Cookham continued to let chances slip through their fingers, including a comical incident where James Taylor and Frazer Finlan left a skied chance to each other.

With Four Candles now getting dangerously close to their target and still only 2 wickets down, Le Fleming produced the only competent pieces of fielding in the entire innings to run out Luke Kempner for 36. McGhie followed soon afterwards, bowled by Bhatti, and Four Candles found themselves needing around 30 off the last 6 overs with 2 new batters at the crease. Captain Richardson, without a wicket to his name all season, entered the attack, clearly hoping for some sort of redemption from his dreadful campaign thus far. However, by this stage Four Candles lower middle order were running Cookham ragged with a ‘tip and run’ style of batting which Cookham seemed powerless to stop. Bhatti got another wicket to finish with a very credible 2 for 23 from his 5 overs, but some byes and overthrows kept Four Candles ahead of the game.

Going into the last over Four Candles required just 4 runs for a famous victory. However, with Richardson taking a wicket from the 3rd ball of the over, the equation appeared momentarily to have swung back in Cookham's favour, with the visitors now needing 3 from 3. This became 2 from 2 with a scrambled single. Then the moment Tom Rosenthal had been waiting years for, Taskmaster’s Alex Horne (there must have been a clever pun in there somewhere, but I couldn’t be bothered to think of it) was able to clip a low full toss through square leg for the winning 2 runs, sparking scenes of jubilation from the visiting side, as an injured Rosenthal charged onto the pitch! The Cookham players sank to their knees in disbelief, having fallen victim to one of the greatest upsets of modern sporting history.

Then followed a 3-hour comedy gig where the comedians victory was mentioned at every available opportunity, just to rub salt into the Cookham wounds (although suspiciously this reporter didn’t see performers Ivo Graham or Geoff Norcott amongst the playing XI, raising further questions about the validity of the opposition).

What little faith the Cookham hierarchy had in Richardson’s ability as skipper must surely have been completely eroded by his latest abject defeat. Next up Cookham go to Penn & Tylers Green, but most onlookers would be surprised to see Richardson’s tenure last that long.

Please note any reporting inaccuracies are down to the writer's overactive imagination and any opinions offered do not represent the views of Cookham Dean Cricket Club.

Cookham Dean Cricket Club Friendly 1st XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
4w 9b  
for 9 wickets
13
162		        
James le Fleming lbw H Charles 31 33 5 93.94 1
Yeshua Bhatti ct & b Deacon 36 50 3 72.00
Roger Evans b H Charles 0 1 0
James Milligan ct Kempner b Raskopoulos 21 37 1 56.76
Rob Mettler ct Steel b J Charles 42 43 6 1 97.67
Frazer Finlan lbw Raskopoulos 0 10 0
Isaac Richardson Not Out  12 14 1 85.71
James Taylor ct & b J Charles 2 7 28.57
Harrison Atkinson ct Steel b J Charles 0 1 0
Mike Rosevear ct Horne b Raskopoulos 0 8 0
Mark Pateman Not Out  5 6 83.33

Four Candles Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Steen Raskopoulos7.012538.333.57
Liam Williams7.004100.005.86
Harrison Charles6.011829.003.00
Tom Deacon5.0020120.004.00
Tom Houghton2.00600.003.00
Alex Horne3.002800.009.33
Jonny Charles5.021535.003.00

Four Candles Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
1nb 15b 1lb 
for 6 wickets
17
163 (34.5 overs)		     
Harrison Charles b Taylor 15 30 1 50.0
Tom Deacon b le Fleming 18 33 3 54.55
Jimmy McGhie b Bhatti 43 59 5 2 72.88
Luke Kempner run out (le Fleming) 36 58 4 62.07
Liam Williams b Bhatti 15 13 2 115.38
Elliot Steel b Richardson 7 7 100
Alex Horne Not Out  11 10 110.0
Steen Raskopoulos Not Out  1 1 100
   
   
   

Cookham Dean Cricket Club Friendly 1st XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
James le Fleming7.0414114.002.00
James Taylor7.0123123.003.29
Mark Pateman5.021900.003.80
Harrison Atkinson5.003300.006.60
Mike Rosevear3.002200.007.33
Yeshua Bhatti5.0023211.504.60
Isaac Richardson2.5013113.004.59